The Way Others See You

Today's Poem-a-Day from the Academy of American Poets (delightful!) got me thinking about the ways that we want to be seen and the sometimes surprising ways that people see us. 

The poem was "I'd Have You Think of Me" by Djuna Barnes published in 1929.

I loved how in two sentences Barnes conveyed with beautiful imagery what she loved and feared and how she wanted to be remembered. I think that we all--myself included--have at least some idea of how we want others to think of us. 

But, sometimes other people see us in an unexpected way. For example, I'm currently on vacation in California and when I posted a picture on Instagram, a friend messaged me, saying "Girl, do you ever just stay in Ohio?!? 😭" I had to think about it for a second because I do see myself as someone who stays in Ohio. Then I realized that since the school year began I had been to Hilton Head, SC, Boston, Denver, New York City, Washington, D.C., and now California. It was surprising to me that she saw me as a traveler, but looking back on the past months made me realize that I have been doing some traveling. I felt grateful and delighted to think back on these experiences that I've had with my friends, family, and even by myself!

This train of thought also reminded me of how I was recently riding in the car with a friend. I noticed that she was going to get off on an exit ramp that would take us in the opposite direction from where we were going. I let her know, and she responded by saying that I had an excellent sense of direction. This immediately made me laugh because I was voted most likely to get lost in my hometown in my senior yearbook. (I can't remember if this category was actually printed in the yearbook because the boy who also won this superlative and I were simultaneously voted most gullible. I think the yearbook staff realized that we were both just clueless and naive and collapsed both categories into one.) Anyway, a couple of weeks later, this same friend told someone else that I was good with directions, and I had to consider: maybe I am good at directions now. When I first moved to Columbus, it took me almost a year to discover that 315 existed, but that was over twenty years ago and now I get around with ease!

So, inspired by Djuna Barnes, I'd have you think of me as someone who has made you laugh or recommended you a good book. But, I may also be a traveler with a good sense of direction. 

I think that we should remember to tell the people in our lives how we see them because it might help them to perceive themselves in a surprising or delightful way!